I would like to know how it feels when one falls in Love… Deeply. Immersed in ten thousand litres below sea surface but you still can breathe once with your so very beloved and without them you gasp for air, just like anybody else would. A blood affair, kill for it if you could.
What is the happiest ever after tale ever told? I would assume one that started with two love birds meeting by a bus stop on a drizzly Friday morning and got to share the shade of an umbrella together while waiting for the bus or, a highschool girl who intentionally bumbs into their long time crush just to get a chance of her dreams helping him pick up his scattered paperwork and text books on the floor as they share close proximity and confussed stares. Just to eventually say, “Sorry that happened, it was never my intent. By the way my name is Betty, and you are?…”
I would like to know. Is it always smooth and beautiful as the movies show. Does it always have a moment where you kiss and cuddle warmly as the snow falls and bells toll eventually with an inevitable sequel of diamond ‘bust down’ wedding bands and poetic vows at the aisle threshold besides a priest in all white, joining together in matrimony is it always never lonely?
Does one take risks like sneaking into their ‘admired one’s’ backyard at midnight whispering loudly their name and throwing tiny gravel at their pane just for a glance. Does it always imbue in sweet jazz and African drums of dance ’round beach fires do their eyes always glow fire when you admire every fabric and atire. From her silky hair band, to the tatoos,sleeving every inch of her whole arm.
Or…Does the hype and cheer eventually hit a peak and plummet? All conversions turn out to be characterized by finger pointing and bulged ego blows? Bad words that kill fly across the living room does it eventually end in doom? Empty void and loud silences by the household now that you can’t even talk to the one you once dried your saliva upon, while sharing sweet words. You once cared about their whereabouts now, you only wish that they never ring the doorbell back from their endavours.
What about the poems you wrote about them consciously with multiple building blocks and paragraphs of praise. Paragraphs of fit description overrated in series of curved hyperbole of their every body part now you only look at them by choice. You might choose not to! Eye contact is no longer a channel to feed off her soul into yours…you’ve had enough now. Preety much more than enough. The only time you look at them now is while cursing them off your sight in deafening roars of biligerance.
To you now, they might be a segue one to never wish to turn back to! All decisions against them occur spontaneously with no second thought whatsoever. No thought of their feelings. No thought of anything to rise above the ceiling and now you always bear a chip on your shoulder but your thoughts still remain visceral. A piece of them is still stuck to your red blood cells. A piece that is stained by tiny oxygen molecules that once gone entirely, leave you breathless for you cannot exhale the same. You choke in the middle. Whats is really the answer, to this imperative riddle?
The most perfectly imagined and idolised couple on the television screen place their “…perfections besides their imperfections…”- by their own words although, the camera never shows the latter it’s always a good time and champagne less pain and more enamel to show. This is surely a beautiful form of existence between people in love. Like Shawn Carter and Beyonce Knowles, or Jada Pinkett and Will, perhaps after you ponder, the answer to my rhetorical…will eventually reveal!